Miracle Of Forgiving

God spoke to me the other day. when my heart was heavy and troubled. He knows the burden i was carrying and how unbearable it was. Ephesians says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” it’s amazing to hear from God again, really. He usually speaks to me through my mentor or a few of my really close christian friends. and this time, it really means a lot to me that He spoke to me personally. thank God that i was able to listen to Him. Hehe. =P

God gave me the power and strength to forgive all the hurt caused by those i loved and respected. cuz i’ve learnt that holding on to a hurt only creates more hurt. and that is really true cuz that’s what happened to me. i couldn’t let got of all the hurt. i came to point where i feel that i don’t know what’s going on with my life already. i don’t know what to do and that i’m totally clueless about anything and everything. my life was in a so called mess that time. but just then, God heard me crying for help. and He did what He does best. God loves us. simple as that. i know very well right now, that i can’t live without God. not before, not now and never in the future. how can i not love Him? and i’ve finally understand and feel the miracle of forgiving. for the first time, i’ve really learnt to let go and just forgive. to forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. to forgive is to dance to the beat of God’s forgiving heart. =)

原谅了的心 才能被释放

Earliest B'day Wishes

Yesterday night was really unexpected. went out for dinner with JiaCi and she actually celeberated my birthday with me. haha. so yeah, had the earliest b'day celebration this year. cuz it was way too early, i really didn't expect it to happen ok. and she even broke my record all this years to celebrate my b'day with me so early. phew. but she's the 3rd person to wish me this year. she actually wanted to be the first. haha. so sorry gurl. can't help it la. i can't control this kind of things. hehe. thank you very much to the both of you who wished me first. you know who you are. thanks alot. it's really very thoughtful of you guys to remember. was unexpected too. hehe. nevertheless, i had a great time with JiaCi. and i'm really touched ya know. actually, i'm very easily satisfied. haha. well, as she might not be able to make it on my b'day so she decided to come over yesterday. and she brought my favorite cake. hehe. appreciate it alot. but she forgotten to ask me what's my wish list. haha. joking la. really. never even think of having one. hehe. well, it's been quite some years since i really got a surprised b'day celebration. cuz when these kind of things happened for a year, you'll tend to be able to somewhat guess that it will happen again the next year. haha. i know you'll think that i'm perasan or somthing but its true la. cuz recalling the year when i was 14, it was really a surprised birthday party. cuz i was really surprised. haha. and the years after that, i'll sort of guessed it will happen. hehe. but still wanna thank you all for making it happen. really. it's the heart that matters to me after all. hehe. anyway, i was really surprised this time. haha. =]

well, i've posted the pics taken when i hanged out with my classmates last week. haha. it's still fun recalling everything we did that night or perhaps i should call it that morning. hehe. it's really unforgetable wei. =P

Dear JiaCi,
just really wanna thank you gurl. i'm sure you know what all this mean to me. it is indeed a very diff journey in this special friendship with you. little did i know when i met you, that our friendship will grow so close one day. but i do thank God to have you with me. hehe. we'll never get tired or bored recalling our prefect days. it's always fun to talk about my prefect life with you. really. cuz i guess only we will understand each other as we're the only ex-prefects left in school. haha. but it's really great to have you around. i'll never get bored with all your lame jokes or simply just talking to you. maybe i should say simply just listening to you. hehe. cuz most of the time you'll be doing all the talking. haha. but i won't mind la. don't worry. it's my pleasure. you know that i'm always here to help whenever you need any advise ya. after all, we've known each other for 7years. hehe. and i know that we've got many years to come, eh?? believe me when i say that you're really different from my other best friends. you are unique, you are you. so don't have to be jealous about Pern and the other girls ya. just be yourself. that's what i like about you as a close friend. if it weren't for who you reallly are, we won't get so close anyway. so don't ever doubt about yourself ya. you're pretty as you are. but i believe that you know this very well already. hehe. anyway, thanks alot for being there for me when i needed someone. and my F6 life is never dull cuz of your presence. aiyo, really gonna miss these days with you gurl. but i know that we will move on together, despite of the diff paths we need to take in the future eh?? and i'm glad to find out that we've got alot more in common. even with all the friendship problems we're facing too. what a coincidence wei. haha. whatever it is, just be cool la. like me. hehe. no la, i mean just chill lor. if we've done our part but the other person still doesn't accept it or still don't understand, then i guess there's nothing we can do already right?? no point trying to change whatever they think or force them to accept what we think they should. well, we can't force them anyhow. we're not God, we can never change ppl ya know. just do whatever we can and leave it to God ok?? do know that i'll be praying for you gurl. always. no doubt. and i know very well that you will do just the same. hehe. anyhow, don't be so stressed up with stpm too. just believe that God will help those who help themselves. so since we did our part, let's leave it to God too. have faith in Him!! and also i want you to know that i do aprrecitate you and i really cherish our friendship from the bottom of my heart. do take good care ya. by the way, don't cry after you read this wor. haha. joking la. really. but still wanna know, touched anot?? hehe. well, you know when to msg me right?? ok la. we should go study already. so stay strong gurl. you got me beside you no matter what. this i promise you. hehe. will be your bao bao forever. love ya always!! =)

已逝的友情

友情对我而言，一直是我生命中很重要的一部分。感谢上帝给了我很多很多非常好的朋友们，让我能体会到友谊的甜、酸、苦、辣。然而，此时此刻，我才发觉，一直以来我似乎是高估了自己吧。在这之前，我自认是个能和每位朋友们的交情拿捏得恰到好处，算是个蛮成功的朋友。还真没想到，最近身边一个一个朋友竟然证明我是错的。我想交朋友的首要诚意是彼此之间互相信任吧。要是连这最基本的也不能做到，我认为这样的朋友不交也罢。或许是我把你们看得很重，才会如此在意吧。无论如何，我已经退一步了，给了你们交代，也出面解决了眼前的问题。我念在我们的交情分上，能做的事，我已尽力了。所以，我也可以释怀了。既然不相信我，那我无话可说，就让这友情和一切的是非，从此划下句点吧。

Onerous

Don't really know where to start but i want all this to be written as a reminder for the future, as a lesson i guess. well, good and bad things can happen together, within a day. and it really feels complicated to have mixed feelings. don't even know what am i feeling right now. can't find any words to say. perhaps things would have been better if i no longer can feel anything?? if my life ended yesterday. too bad it hasn't somehow. but i'm glad it's not. don't know why. or maybe i shouldn't?? by the way, just realized that it was Friday, the 13th. right. whatever la. but don't worry, i'm ok if you're wandering. it was just an accident. that's all. yeah. that's all. but it's my first, so can't help it for being emo. hope that this will be the last. well, not really sure if it is. haha.

anyway, yesterday was craziness. yeah, this word somehow sums it all. actually, went yam cha with friends on thursday night and we hanged out till midnight. so it was Friday already. and believe me when i say we really hanged out till very late in the early morning. haha. but we didn't go places we weren't supposed to go. hehe. i really had a great time and enjoyed myself. was really stress free. but it was only at that time of the day la. haha. whatever it is, at least it's one thing that is good which happened yesterday. got some pics, but not really in the mood to post them up right now, just give me some time ya. i really need time to chill now, honestly. well, do take good care you guys. =)

Staying In The Game

It's wonderful to know that GOD has incredible things in mind for us - things we haven't even dreamed of, isn't it? i often think that GOD's priority is what he wants to do through us. of course, it's important to build and care for GOD's kingdom, but i realize that GOD's priority is not just what i can do for Him but always what He wants to do in me for His glory. therefore, there's still progress to be made in my walk of faith. i know GOD's not done training me yet, for now. so i shoud get fired up and focused on what's ahead of me today in my relationship with Him, and keep my head and heart in the game. faithfulness is the priority of the Christian life. =)

God's Promises

Honestly, i really have no idea that today is gonna end like this. thought i will be able to really train today after dance class as today was really my last time in UG already. but then again, i don't know how, i don't know why, things just didn't happen. and of course, earlier in the car, i was just wandering why God didn't allowed it to happen. don't really know how to describe this but i somehow feel strongly that God is in control. He always does. therefore i do believe that He have a reason for this. just that when the reality hit me in the car, i didn't know how to react at all. sad?? disappointed?? well, couldn't say a word in the car. words just didn't want to come out. and there's only silence in the car with the radio playing. hope that Dan won't mind. Jan was quite too. i guess we were trying to accept the fact that it's over now. anyway, right now i kind of accept it already. well, don't wanna be emo for so long. haha. just that i wish that i'm not sitting here but rather training in UG instead. haha. can only happen in my dreams now i guess. =P

as i recall the rainbow i saw today when we're on our way to class, though we were really late but if we're not then i would have missed it perhaps, i think God was trying to prepare me for this. haven't seen a rainbow for quite some time already, can't even remember when's the last time i saw one. it's beautiful. hehe. and everytime i see a rainbow, i'll always be reminded of God's promises to me. and He always keeps His promises. i prayed all this while that i'll leave everything into God's hands and the rainbow reminded me at that point of time to really let go and let Him take control. God have His plans for me. and not knowing what's gonna happen at night, i said a prayer in my heart and asked God to give me His strength for today's last training and to accept the fact that it's time to stop training for now. little did i know that time, God had a plan for me already and right now, it really became my prayer.

remembering God's promises to us in the bible, it directs our focus off people, off our circumstances and on to the Lord. the lesson i need to learn is not about my trusting in what i have been promised, but to continue to trust the God of the promise. living in this world, we tend to forget the reality that God owes us nothing. but He still loves us so dearly and had done so much for us and He's still at work in our lives. i really want to surrender everthing unto God, including dancing as it became part of my life now. but never forgetting the purpose i started it. it is to serve and glory God. will stay strong and focus on things i am supposed to right now. as for dancing, it's over for now. but i know that God sometimes does things in a way that shows He alone is responsible. =)