祝我生日快乐

不知不觉， 今年的生日又到了， 可是也很快地又过去了。还真可说是来得快，也去得快啊。如一位朋友所说的，过生日最重要是要快乐，才会对得起自己。不然为什么祝福语会是‘生日快乐’呢? 不过今年的生日还算对得起自己了，并没有太大的遗憾。我知道我是幸福的。对，我是幸福的。因为我的身边还有你们啊。我还有你们的爱，对吧?

我想，或许人总是会有那么一点点的贪念吧。不瞒你说，在我内心某处，依然想念着某个他。那几天，一直都很期待能够听见他亲口的祝福。哪怕只是一句简单的‘生日快乐’。这样我就已经满足了，真的。难道这样的生日愿望也算太贪心吗? 结果，我始终都没有听到他的声音。失望的心，试着安慰自己，也许是他很忙，那么就算是一句迟来的祝福也是以样的。我心里清楚知道，他一定不会忘了我的生日，因为他曾说过，无论以后发生什么事，他都不会忘记关于我的一切， 已把我刻在他的心里了。这些年来，我依然相信着他。有他那一句话，我真的已满足了，真的。就这样，为他找了很多的借口，也静静地等待着那迟来的祝福。最后，只好努力地忘掉脑里一切有他的画面，不能让眼泪流过十二点。一个人坐在空荡的房间里，手机也该让它休息一夜了。我知道伤心并不能改变什么，那么就让我诚实一点吧。

那时候，耳边仿佛听见一首歌，是这样唱着的。。。生日快乐， 我对自己说。蜡烛点了，寂寞亮了。生日快乐，泪也融了，我要谢谢你给的，你拿走的一切。还爱你，带一点恨。还要时间，才能平衡。热恋伤痕，幻灭重生。祝我生日快乐。。。

Hey guys. sorry if you don't understand ya. cuz i just feel like typing in chinese. haha. easier lor and my first paper next week is the chinese paper. haha. so a lil practise here. well, there's some prob, which i don't know what is it that unables me to upload all the pics i want to. so here's the ones that i managed to post up. will update the rest after my exam in Dec. cuz what to do. i can't fix the prob now cuz i don't know what is it. haha. okiez. you all take good care. wishing all the best in everything to ya'll too!! =D

Many Thanks To You

Thank GOD for this precious life He’s given me. thank YOU, LORD for being my GOD. hehe. and i really am grateful and thankful to you all for making my birthday a blast!! hehe. thank you JiaCi for the earliest b'day cake. thank you guys JK, GY and JJ for the dinner and the cake. thank you all, my dear classmates for the cake and presents at midnight. thank you all, my dear friends for the breathtaking scenery at Putrajaya and the cake. thank you for the lunch on my b'day. thank you Jan, Sharon and Esther for the cake you girls baked. was really surprised and touched. and believe me when i say the cake is really nice wei. cuz its the only handmade cake out of 7 cakes. hehe. thank you Jan for the dinner. had an awesome time with you. may we share alot more in the future. thank you all, my dear AFC gang for the cake and the gigantic teh ice too. thank you Alan for the great dinner in KL yesterday night. thanks alot, really. it's very thoughtful of you to remember. hehe. can't believe i got 19 presents from you. haha. thank you, my friends for my 7th and last b'day cake this year during our yam cha session just now. hehe. finally, thank you all for the calls, the smses, the messages on friendster, the testimonials, the mails and the e-cards too for all the b'day wishes. hehe. well, hopefully i didn't missed anyone of you or any group of ppl. haha. so, it's the end of my b'day celebration this year. hehe. really had a good one. thank GOD for you all, my dear friends!! thank you once again from the bottom of my heart. love you all!! =D

Last Teen B'day

I couldn't sleep, so here am i. hmm, too much of tea. thanks to you guys and girls. you know who you all are. hehe. well, will study in awhile. since i'm so wide awake now. can't believe it wei. anyway, i don't know what to write now, really. out of words to describe how am i feeling. or maybe i just can't find words to describe it. hehe. had a very SPECIAL b'day this year. i really had a blast!! haha. like before, "the pics speak louder than words". hehe. will write more and post all the pics one day ya. hopefully soon?? haha. okiez, have to stop here already. going to study now, remember?? hehe. to all of you who gave me an unexpected and unforgetable b'day with all the surprises and laughters, thank you from the bottom of my heart!! i appreciate it very much!! really very touched wei. hehe. 我是真的真的很感动喔!! =D

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!
衷心的感谢你!!

Miracle Of Forgiving

God spoke to me the other day. when my heart was heavy and troubled. He knows the burden i was carrying and how unbearable it was. Ephesians says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” it’s amazing to hear from God again, really. He usually speaks to me through my mentor or a few of my really close christian friends. and this time, it really means a lot to me that He spoke to me personally. thank God that i was able to listen to Him. Hehe. =P

God gave me the power and strength to forgive all the hurt caused by those i loved and respected. cuz i’ve learnt that holding on to a hurt only creates more hurt. and that is really true cuz that’s what happened to me. i couldn’t let got of all the hurt. i came to point where i feel that i don’t know what’s going on with my life already. i don’t know what to do and that i’m totally clueless about anything and everything. my life was in a so called mess that time. but just then, God heard me crying for help. and He did what He does best. God loves us. simple as that. i know very well right now, that i can’t live without God. not before, not now and never in the future. how can i not love Him? and i’ve finally understand and feel the miracle of forgiving. for the first time, i’ve really learnt to let go and just forgive. to forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. to forgive is to dance to the beat of God’s forgiving heart. =)

原谅了的心 才能被释放

Earliest B'day Wishes

Yesterday night was really unexpected. went out for dinner with JiaCi and she actually celeberated my birthday with me. haha. so yeah, had the earliest b'day celebration this year. cuz it was way too early, i really didn't expect it to happen ok. and she even broke my record all this years to celebrate my b'day with me so early. phew. but she's the 3rd person to wish me this year. she actually wanted to be the first. haha. so sorry gurl. can't help it la. i can't control this kind of things. hehe. thank you very much to the both of you who wished me first. you know who you are. thanks alot. it's really very thoughtful of you guys to remember. was unexpected too. hehe. nevertheless, i had a great time with JiaCi. and i'm really touched ya know. actually, i'm very easily satisfied. haha. well, as she might not be able to make it on my b'day so she decided to come over yesterday. and she brought my favorite cake. hehe. appreciate it alot. but she forgotten to ask me what's my wish list. haha. joking la. really. never even think of having one. hehe. well, it's been quite some years since i really got a surprised b'day celebration. cuz when these kind of things happened for a year, you'll tend to be able to somewhat guess that it will happen again the next year. haha. i know you'll think that i'm perasan or somthing but its true la. cuz recalling the year when i was 14, it was really a surprised birthday party. cuz i was really surprised. haha. and the years after that, i'll sort of guessed it will happen. hehe. but still wanna thank you all for making it happen. really. it's the heart that matters to me after all. hehe. anyway, i was really surprised this time. haha. =]

well, i've posted the pics taken when i hanged out with my classmates last week. haha. it's still fun recalling everything we did that night or perhaps i should call it that morning. hehe. it's really unforgetable wei. =P

Dear JiaCi,
just really wanna thank you gurl. i'm sure you know what all this mean to me. it is indeed a very diff journey in this special friendship with you. little did i know when i met you, that our friendship will grow so close one day. but i do thank God to have you with me. hehe. we'll never get tired or bored recalling our prefect days. it's always fun to talk about my prefect life with you. really. cuz i guess only we will understand each other as we're the only ex-prefects left in school. haha. but it's really great to have you around. i'll never get bored with all your lame jokes or simply just talking to you. maybe i should say simply just listening to you. hehe. cuz most of the time you'll be doing all the talking. haha. but i won't mind la. don't worry. it's my pleasure. you know that i'm always here to help whenever you need any advise ya. after all, we've known each other for 7years. hehe. and i know that we've got many years to come, eh?? believe me when i say that you're really different from my other best friends. you are unique, you are you. so don't have to be jealous about Pern and the other girls ya. just be yourself. that's what i like about you as a close friend. if it weren't for who you reallly are, we won't get so close anyway. so don't ever doubt about yourself ya. you're pretty as you are. but i believe that you know this very well already. hehe. anyway, thanks alot for being there for me when i needed someone. and my F6 life is never dull cuz of your presence. aiyo, really gonna miss these days with you gurl. but i know that we will move on together, despite of the diff paths we need to take in the future eh?? and i'm glad to find out that we've got alot more in common. even with all the friendship problems we're facing too. what a coincidence wei. haha. whatever it is, just be cool la. like me. hehe. no la, i mean just chill lor. if we've done our part but the other person still doesn't accept it or still don't understand, then i guess there's nothing we can do already right?? no point trying to change whatever they think or force them to accept what we think they should. well, we can't force them anyhow. we're not God, we can never change ppl ya know. just do whatever we can and leave it to God ok?? do know that i'll be praying for you gurl. always. no doubt. and i know very well that you will do just the same. hehe. anyhow, don't be so stressed up with stpm too. just believe that God will help those who help themselves. so since we did our part, let's leave it to God too. have faith in Him!! and also i want you to know that i do aprrecitate you and i really cherish our friendship from the bottom of my heart. do take good care ya. by the way, don't cry after you read this wor. haha. joking la. really. but still wanna know, touched anot?? hehe. well, you know when to msg me right?? ok la. we should go study already. so stay strong gurl. you got me beside you no matter what. this i promise you. hehe. will be your bao bao forever. love ya always!! =)

已逝的友情

友情对我而言，一直是我生命中很重要的一部分。感谢上帝给了我很多很多非常好的朋友们，让我能体会到友谊的甜、酸、苦、辣。然而，此时此刻，我才发觉，一直以来我似乎是高估了自己吧。在这之前，我自认是个能和每位朋友们的交情拿捏得恰到好处，算是个蛮成功的朋友。还真没想到，最近身边一个一个朋友竟然证明我是错的。我想交朋友的首要诚意是彼此之间互相信任吧。要是连这最基本的也不能做到，我认为这样的朋友不交也罢。或许是我把你们看得很重，才会如此在意吧。无论如何，我已经退一步了，给了你们交代，也出面解决了眼前的问题。我念在我们的交情分上，能做的事，我已尽力了。所以，我也可以释怀了。既然不相信我，那我无话可说，就让这友情和一切的是非，从此划下句点吧。

Onerous

Don't really know where to start but i want all this to be written as a reminder for the future, as a lesson i guess. well, good and bad things can happen together, within a day. and it really feels complicated to have mixed feelings. don't even know what am i feeling right now. can't find any words to say. perhaps things would have been better if i no longer can feel anything?? if my life ended yesterday. too bad it hasn't somehow. but i'm glad it's not. don't know why. or maybe i shouldn't?? by the way, just realized that it was Friday, the 13th. right. whatever la. but don't worry, i'm ok if you're wandering. it was just an accident. that's all. yeah. that's all. but it's my first, so can't help it for being emo. hope that this will be the last. well, not really sure if it is. haha.

anyway, yesterday was craziness. yeah, this word somehow sums it all. actually, went yam cha with friends on thursday night and we hanged out till midnight. so it was Friday already. and believe me when i say we really hanged out till very late in the early morning. haha. but we didn't go places we weren't supposed to go. hehe. i really had a great time and enjoyed myself. was really stress free. but it was only at that time of the day la. haha. whatever it is, at least it's one thing that is good which happened yesterday. got some pics, but not really in the mood to post them up right now, just give me some time ya. i really need time to chill now, honestly. well, do take good care you guys. =)

Staying In The Game

It's wonderful to know that GOD has incredible things in mind for us - things we haven't even dreamed of, isn't it? i often think that GOD's priority is what he wants to do through us. of course, it's important to build and care for GOD's kingdom, but i realize that GOD's priority is not just what i can do for Him but always what He wants to do in me for His glory. therefore, there's still progress to be made in my walk of faith. i know GOD's not done training me yet, for now. so i shoud get fired up and focused on what's ahead of me today in my relationship with Him, and keep my head and heart in the game. faithfulness is the priority of the Christian life. =)

God's Promises

Honestly, i really have no idea that today is gonna end like this. thought i will be able to really train today after dance class as today was really my last time in UG already. but then again, i don't know how, i don't know why, things just didn't happen. and of course, earlier in the car, i was just wandering why God didn't allowed it to happen. don't really know how to describe this but i somehow feel strongly that God is in control. He always does. therefore i do believe that He have a reason for this. just that when the reality hit me in the car, i didn't know how to react at all. sad?? disappointed?? well, couldn't say a word in the car. words just didn't want to come out. and there's only silence in the car with the radio playing. hope that Dan won't mind. Jan was quite too. i guess we were trying to accept the fact that it's over now. anyway, right now i kind of accept it already. well, don't wanna be emo for so long. haha. just that i wish that i'm not sitting here but rather training in UG instead. haha. can only happen in my dreams now i guess. =P

as i recall the rainbow i saw today when we're on our way to class, though we were really late but if we're not then i would have missed it perhaps, i think God was trying to prepare me for this. haven't seen a rainbow for quite some time already, can't even remember when's the last time i saw one. it's beautiful. hehe. and everytime i see a rainbow, i'll always be reminded of God's promises to me. and He always keeps His promises. i prayed all this while that i'll leave everything into God's hands and the rainbow reminded me at that point of time to really let go and let Him take control. God have His plans for me. and not knowing what's gonna happen at night, i said a prayer in my heart and asked God to give me His strength for today's last training and to accept the fact that it's time to stop training for now. little did i know that time, God had a plan for me already and right now, it really became my prayer.

remembering God's promises to us in the bible, it directs our focus off people, off our circumstances and on to the Lord. the lesson i need to learn is not about my trusting in what i have been promised, but to continue to trust the God of the promise. living in this world, we tend to forget the reality that God owes us nothing. but He still loves us so dearly and had done so much for us and He's still at work in our lives. i really want to surrender everthing unto God, including dancing as it became part of my life now. but never forgetting the purpose i started it. it is to serve and glory God. will stay strong and focus on things i am supposed to right now. as for dancing, it's over for now. but i know that God sometimes does things in a way that shows He alone is responsible. =)

The So Called End

Today the G4G training has officially ended for me as it's the 30th already. sigh. didn't even train at all today after class cuz of some technical prob. haha. well, won't be attending the training for 2months from now. how is it gonna feel like?? i don't even wanna think about it. either i'll be dreaming about dance like Jan or i'll totally slack after that 2months. neither one is good. haha. aiyo, don't know don't care la. anyway, i'll still be going for training tmr for the last time. i just don't want it to be the last time today ya know. it's really the last training tmr. how sad is that?? yeah, i know i can train at home, but somehow it just won't happen. hehe. whatever it is, i've made up my mind and know very well that it's best for me now. leaving everything into GOD's hands!! =)

Hidden Truth

GOD showed me a hidden truth lately. and right now i am left confused without any idea about what i should do about it. therefore, the moment GOD, in His will, showed me the truth, i’d never stopped praying. i don’t even know what i’m praying about already. i really do not know what to do and perhaps there’s nothing i can do at this point of time. but only pray about it. as i pray, i know that our Father is working according to His own wisdom, accomplishing what is best. just like yesterday’s devotion, GOD showed that it wasn’t Daniel’s courage or his prayers saved him. it was GOD. He doesn’t always provide the sort of help we anticipate – but His method always provokes the most glory. i do not pray that GOD will take this burden away from me, because i really care, as GOD cares for the lost – all of them. please do pray for peace and strength to stay strong in my faith as GOD reveals His purpose in His time.

well, the stpm timetable is finally in my hands. phew. hopefully i’ll be really prepared by then. it'll be starting on the 15th till the 29th Nov. and after that i’ll be so called free. haha. by the way, updated some pics i took with my hp. some pics taken with my dear sister, with Jia Ci when we’re hanging out after trials and with Jan at lunch on Monday. Really glad to have you girls in my life. Hehe. Luv ya!! =P